10 steps for the counselling journey.
1). What are your hopes for counselling?
This can be pretty easy for some clients and a challenge for others. It’s OK. Your therapist will be skilled, patient and understanding. They will guide you to find your way. You might be worried about something specific or wanting to work through some ‘stuff’ you’ve been carrying for some time. There is not right or wrong way, only the way that works for you.
2). What if you feel the fit with the therapist isn’t right, that you just are not feeling it?
Choose your therapist carefully. This is your time and self-care, so it must feel right for you. Lots of therapists offer a free 15/20 min consultation. This isn’t a therapy session, it’s a chance to have a discussion. It enables you both to get a sense of one another, a connection and whether it can progress to the next step. Remember, if at any point you don’t feel things are working with your therapist, speak with them, try to work it out if possible. You don’t have to stay with the same therapist.
3). Therapy is a safe environment to talk, somewhere you can be yourself, challenge and be vulnerable, safely.
Expressing yourself in this space will enable you to get prepared for your future. A space to challenge, feel vulnerable, angry, sad, happy, strong, empowered, and safe. It’s ok to challenge yourself, it’s OK to challenge your therapist. It’s OK to not be OK, it’s OK to be OK.
4). The therapeutic space is somewhere you can talk about anything.
You will work with your therapist around contracting, confidentiality, and boundaries. It’s important that you both work within the boundaries that you make together. Ask your therapist about anything you are unsure of; they will help you make sense of things. It’s the therapist choice regards what they choose to answer. Its important to have respect for one another.
5). Therapy isn’t only for times when you feel overwhelmed or in crisis.
Therapy can enable you to develop a toolbox of ways in which to manage and overcome life’s challenges. It’s an opportunity to afford yourself some selfcare, self-compassion and feeling empowered in life and relationships with self and with others.
6). Expect to delve deep and explore your past, present and future.
Our childhood impacts on us as adults, how we think, feel, and behave. With your therapist you might work through past events and how they impact on you now, and how you can manage these in the future. Don’t be afraid, your therapist will be right with you, guiding you to find the decisions that enable you to find who you truly are.
7). Prepare for your sessions, practically, physically, and emotionally.
Get to the session on time so plan around the time of the session carefully. Online counselling might seem a breeze but remember, technology can be faulty and stop working. Prepare emotionally for the session. Try not to switch from work straight to the session, give yourself space to focus, breath and engage. Ensure you have your phone on silent, have a drink, maybe water, and some tissues. Therapy can be emotionally challenging and tough at times. Once you have finished your session, give yourself time to ‘calm’, sometime for recovery and balance. My advice would be to give yourself a day or so before thinking about the session, to reflect and process.
8). What will you talk about?
How will you remember everything you want to say? Well, I would suggest you make some short notes, bullet points, (that mean something to you but nothing to anyone else) bring these to your session. You will be surprised how much gets discussed in your counselling hour.
9). You might not always like therapy or your therapist.
Like anything we might work on, there are times when it can get challenging, make us feel like giving up, feel like lashing out verbally. Well, it can be like this with therapy. It can make us want to run for the door and not come back. It’s likely that this is the session where you have identified your pain point, the thing that really is why you have come to therapy. Remember, your therapist is with you, right next to you and will stay there as you work through things.
10). Try not to expect breakthroughs and changes at every session but if you do, great!
You might get incredible ‘light bulb moments’ during therapy but these are unlikely to be at every session. Remember, you are on a journey, embrace this.
Thanks for reading this and I hope this helps anyone who is thinking or just starting their therapeutic journey.
Asett Counselling – providing A Safe Environment To Talk.
Asettcounselling.co.uk
Asettcounselling.amoore-mccarthy@btinternet.com